I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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