At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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