it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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