I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
