i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
