do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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