New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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