Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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