I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
