This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.