Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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