70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize