She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize