Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
