i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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