Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
