Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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