pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It was confusing and full of hummus
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
