Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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