we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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