it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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