we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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