Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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