I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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