I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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