I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
