Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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