Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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