If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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