All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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