Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
