She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
