You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
