Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home