Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!