Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon