Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?