I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude