I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
