Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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