is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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