I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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