I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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