Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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