she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
