And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
