i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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