You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
