so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
