Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
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I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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