trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I believe in your delicious
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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