maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
