when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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