Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
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Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
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Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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