Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
