I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
