Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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