Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
