my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
