and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize