Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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