just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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