I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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